cwknight.com » Fun

I Literally Cannot Title This Anything Save “Some Japanese Game”

cwknight — Tue, 21 Dec 2010 17:13:57 +0000

I can’t quote publications, but I’ve heard that Seattle is 12 times more culturally influential, per capita, than New York or Los Angeles. This is exactly the sort of self-aggrandizing comment that Seattlites love, and you can almost feel the populace rolling this idea around in their heads like a lozenge in their mouths.

It’s really kind of egotistical and gross.

But there are some advantages to living in the cliquey yet trendsetting Pacific Northwest. First, it’s very easy to wear stylish clothes, since everyone will be copying you in a half year, and second, we’re used as a test-market for a lot of really cool stuff that we might not otherwise get to see. Ryan and I wandered into Gameworks Thursday evening, and we found an intriguing new arcade game that was pretty clearly being test marketed. Its large size, necessitated by its four networked game machines and a central instruction/spectating kiosk, forced it into an out of the way corner of the arcade, a fact which afforded us plenty of time to study its mysteries.

Unfortunately, one enigma we were unable to solve was its name, which was either written in Japanese or else in a font indistinguishable from same. In any case, we couldn’t read it, and apparently neither could the Gameworks staff, as a small, office printed sign proclaimed that one had to buy a starter pack in order to enjoy “…this exciting new game…”

This is a giant chart detailing all of the cards. Do you want to have to learn this bullshit?

I feel like I’m getting ahead of myself by mentioning the starter pack, so allow me to explain. The reason we were so drawn to this game was its obviously unique interface. Instead of a joystick and buttons, each cabinet had a broad, flat surface at table height situated in front of the screen. Small graphics of cards decorated the cabinet, and a quick glance at the game’s attract mode confirmed our suspicions. The table was electrically sensitive, and you played the game by moving cards about the surface. It was a combination card game and video game! Awesome!

But here’s the rub- card games take a lot of time to explain and figure out. Remember the first time you learned (or tried to learn…) Magic: The Gathering? Well, imagine trying to figure out Magic while the electrically pulsing bass waves of the arcade’s soundtrack beat against your skull. Once Ryan and I realized the time and money investment required, we immediately lost interest and wandered away in search of Ms. Pac Man.

And besides, do you really want to be the sort of person who not only plays a nerdy trading card game, but plays one that can only be played at fucking Gameworks?

Tron: Legacy (The Movie, This Time. Not The Soundtrack.)

cwknight — Mon, 20 Dec 2010 04:22:31 +0000

The new designs for Tron: Legacy are extremely beautiful

You know, just to be clear.

So, I don’t feel it’s necessary to say too much about Tron: Legacy. It’s beautiful, mellow, and contemplative. The original Tron, if you will remember, was not an action movie. Neither is Tron: Legacy.

But it’s gorgeous, and it’s interesting enough, though the script (admittedly better here than in the original) could use a little more… pizazz. They have the seeds of some interesting ideas carried through from the original, including the exploration of the intersection between religion and technology. But these seeds barely sprout, or the code doesn’t branch, or something.

I get the feeling that given some time, the mythos of Tron is going to flesh itself out with fan speculation. Perhaps I’ll find some line of fanboy logic that satisfies my desire to chew on the Tron universe better than Tron: Legacy itself does.

Crosswords

cwknight — Thu, 16 Dec 2010 22:06:32 +0000

Pretty, isn't it?

I’ve recently started taking the New York Times Crossword Puzzle seriously.

It’s easy to see why people are intimidated by it- the grid can be daunting, a black-and-white menace more reminiscent of the chaotically symmetrical face of an industrial drill bit than a Sunday Breakfast diversion. But with just a small bit of training and a little practice, a wonderfully witty and challenging world unfolds from this mess of clues and letters.

My journey began over coffee, when my friend Eli took the crossword he was working on and scribbled this code above the puzzle:

M – 1

T – 2

W – 3

H – 4

F – 5

S – 6

U – 4

After an inquiry and the admission that I had never completed a full puzzle, Eli elucidated the chart, explaining that it was a difficulty scale for the New York Times Crossword, corresponding to the day of the week. He went on to explain that there are standardized clue conventions, some of which include:

clues with abbreviations in them have abbreviated answers
clues that are punctuated with a question mark are always puns
the long answers are usually related by a common theme
answers must agree with the clue in terms of tense and part of speech
clues repeat all the time!

I was encouraged by this new information, and not too long after Eli’s tutorial, I bought a collection of 50 New York Times Monday puzzles. As I tore through them (Monday, it turns out, really IS easy) I found my mind quickly adapting itself to the abstract thinking crosswords encourage. The educational component is huge- I could feel myself beginning to see more connections between concepts, and every puzzle is chock full of interesting things to think about. And like nearly every clever thing made by clever people, there’s plenty of humor involved, as well. Answers to clues are often deliciously witty, and once I even encountered a puzzle with two clues that, when solved, made me laugh out loud. They were: “a Yogi Berra quote” and “a Yogi Berra quote”. This isn’t uncommon, as puzzles often have two identical clues, but they typically have different answers. Not this time.

They were, of course, “ITSDEJAVUALLOVERAGAIN” and, naturally, “ITSDEJAVUALLOVERAGAIN”.

Hilarious.

Try the crossword. It’s fun!

On The Victrola: Tron: Legacy Soundtrack

cwknight — Mon, 13 Dec 2010 18:25:33 +0000

Tron: Legacy

With talk that includes comparisons to James Cameron’s Avatar, Disney’s Tron Legacy is getting some incredible hype as it leads up to its release next week. Leading the surge of Tron preview media content was the release of the original score, created by French-electronica-legends Daft Punk.

I’ve been listening to it a bunch since its release, and I have to to say that it’s top notch. I was surprised by the traditional orchestral elements, but Daft Punk definitely showed off their compositional chops, delivering a score that has the subtle emotion necessary for a film, and a dance beat oscilloscopic enough to satisfy anybody’s head bopping needs. The track “End of Line” is particularly good at tapping into the shared cultural rhythms of the techno-lifestyle, and I can’t help but think that its constituent parts are the sounds of some far future interface, remixed for the here-and-now.

“Arena” does something similar, mixing a futuristic dial-tone with the pulsing beat of a shamanistic drum. The intersection of tech and tribe is reminiscent of the ever present fact that /humans/ are at the other end of our connections. It’s an important reminder that at its core, the Internet is just another update to banging on a drum.

All in all, the soundtrack has made me even more excited to see the movie. If the film can match the pace of the music, we are in for an epic ride indeed.

PenIslandDotCom

cwknight — Mon, 19 Apr 2010 00:02:26 +0000

Eli taking photos for an upcoming unboxing article

My friend Eli has gotten into fountain pens recently, going so far into pen fandom that he has become an extremely active member of the Fountain Pen Network, posting pen unboxing photos and lengthy reviews. I just so happened to be hanging out with him when he received a couple of new pens that feature a unique filling system. Check out this video.

Pretty crazy.

As for me, my pen of choice is the Kaweco Sport, with Diamine Emerald ink.

Wherein things are Yay.

cwknight — Sun, 18 Apr 2010 00:37:18 +0000

After months of feeling like a lonely cosmonaut left on his own to care for an interplanetary fueling station, I found out today that my boss has finally hired more people to fill my position at work. After they’re trained and in place, it’ll only be a matter of time until I get promoted to Gates, a position I’ve been trying to get for a year.

So yay.

In similarly happy news, after what seemed like months, I got my Segway PT back from repairs.

So double yay.

Conservatory of Flowers and the Bay Area Garden Railway

cwknight — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 23:48:14 +0000

The Conservatory of Flowers in Golden Gate Park has a special exhibit right now set up by the Bay Area Garden Railways society. It’s a model train layout of famous San Francisco landmarks, and all of the buildings are made out of recycled materials, like computer floppy disks, old milk crates, bottles, circuit boards, cereal boxes, and light fixtures. Here are some photographs that I took of the layout, and of some of the flowers in the Conservatory.

My Dad’s Christmas Story

cwknight — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 06:13:31 +0000

One Christmas morning, my father attempted to describe Santa as Solid Snake.

This is that story.

“Dad, does Santa really go house to house delivering toys?”
“He does indeed; why just last night this Christmas Eve, I heard him.”
“What? No!”
“Yeah, I was sitting here watching TV after you’d gone to bed, and I thought I heard jingling coming from the roof, like bells on a reindeer. I turned off the TV, and the sound stopped. I unmuted it, and the sound returned! I turned it off and on one more time and then I was sure of it! I heard a jingling, but only when the TV was on! It was Santa, trying to use the sound of the TV to muffle the sounds of him infiltrating our household!”

THE GREAT MAGICIANS OF THE 20th CENTURY!

cwknight — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 19:03:46 +0000

In addition to his popular appearances as the Daily Show’s resident expert and his long-running stint playing the REVILED and DISGUSTING PC in the adverts for those GLORIOUS and MAGNIFICENT Apple computers, John Hodgman (referred to henceforth by his stage name, “The Master of Hidden Knowledge, Hodgman”) has also received some notoriety for being America’s preeminent fake trivia and esoteric list compiler. In his books, The Areas of My Expertise, and More Information Than You Require, he presents a mind-expanding journey through fabricated facts and figures, supplemented with long and laboriously crafted lists of 700 hobo names (featured in Areas) and 700 mole-man names (featured in More). It was his work in the fields of mole-men and boxcar-riding drifter monikers that spurred me to research and compile this list of THE GREAT MAGICIANS OF THE 20TH CENTURY!

Please keep in mind that this list is a work in progress; look for a supplement here in the future.
And so, without further ado, I present

THE GREAT MAGICIANS OF THE 20th CENTURY!

1. The Great Garbini
2. Ronaldo, Keeper of the Secret of the Saracens
3. Willy Chou, Master of Illusion
4. Harry Potter
5. Wilford Brimley, the Insulin Illusionist and
6. Sugar, the Magic Counting Horse, rivals
7. Brother Gregory, The Mystic Monk
8. The Magic Nuclear Scientist Genius Kid, Beanie.
9. David Sprocketfield, the Mechanical Magician
10. George Oscar Bluth
11. Tim, A Minor Wizard
12. Dick McFeeley, a Close-Up Master
13. Timothy, A Major Wizard
14. Pinder, the Sword Swallower Who Can’t Take Pills
15. Timothanthony, The Ultimate Wizard
16. Miss J, Gender Warlock
17. Malcom Reynolds, Escape Artist of The New West
18. The Straight Jacket Mannequin
19.
20. Larry Flint, The Pornographic Prestidigitator and
21. Andrea Dworkin, The Feminist Fortuneteller, rivals
22. The Comic Conjurer, Alan Moore
23. The Mystical Tony Stark and His Assistant, Pepper Potts.
24. W.E.B Du Bois, the Soul Speaker
25. Tricky, The Illusionist
26. Illusiony, The Trickster
27. Alexey Pajitnov, The Hypnotist
28. Two Girls, One Cups And Balls
29. Daft Punk
30. The Inexplicably Popular Stephanie Meyer
31. Tesla, The Lightning Charmer and
32. Edison, The Lightning Thief, rivals
33. The Hardass Steve Jobs
34. Rubik The Amazing Cube
35. Jorge The Great
36. Vork, The Guild Master
37. Kramer
38. Gertrude The Magnificent
39. The Master of Hidden Knowledge, Hodgman
40. The Mystic Mississippi
41. Pirate Emperor Ron Gilbert
42. Lovely Lydia, and
43. Ugly Earnest, rivals
44. The Explorer of India, The Keeper of the Maharajah’s Ghost, and Wild Elephant Handler, Jeff
45. Martinus, The Magical Friar
46. Thomas Edison, The Wizard of Menlo Park, and
47. Nikola Tesla, The Scientist Who Lived Under the Stairs, rivals. *NOTE*
48. Micky Spritz, The Coney Island Conjurer
49. The Mario Bros.
50. Captain Virgil Tennenbaum, Knot Master

*NOTE*

A note on the Edisons and Teslas: Tesla The Lightning Charmer and Edison The Lightning Thief should not be confused with the Grandmaster Warlocks from whom they aped their names. Edison The Lightning Thief and Tesla The Lightning Charmer were two of several pairs of businessmen-entertainers, including a then unknown Ringling Brothers, who attempted to cash in on the well publicized rivalry of the Electrical Elite. They enjoyed some success at first, until Tesla invented his Matter Duplicator, allowing the real Messrs. Edison and Tesla to perform their lethal lightning fights in several cities at once. For a complete history of the real Edison and Tesla, please see The Areas of My Expertise, or, make it up yourself.)

Seattle’s Cold Snap

cwknight — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 17:05:29 +0000

We’ve had a little bit of a cold snap here in Seattle over the past week. I was lucky to have decided to bring my camera with me to work on one of the coldest days. I was able to get these great pictures before I started work. My favorite of these three is the one of the bear statue; it looks like the bear had been cryogenically frozen!

Click the pics to see them in full size.